MGTOW – The Willfulness Behind Chaotic Endings

MGTOW men, welcome back.

The willfulness behind chaotic endings. I honestly have no idea where these titles are going sometimes, I guess I just like the platform to be able to name things every day. That’s pretty fun. I like being able to be creative in that sense.

I said that with some jest, but I say that with some seriousness and I say this title in all sincerity. There is chaos that happens because…well, we have no idea why this chaos happened. And then we have chaos because of decisions that we continually chose to make.

We make them over and over and over again because we are probably addicted to something that we are trying to keep by continuing to make the decision and perpetuating that decision making.

It’s a pretty cursory assessment, but I would say that chaos is largely centered around these two types of paths. The one that is out of control and the one that is in our control and that we perpetuate by small decisions over and over again, often over many years, decades. Also, this can connect to one’s diet. Let’s face it, for many people that end up having heart attacks, it’s a willful entrance into the heart attack because the taste of the food is so good or that you have to have the food around to keep a wound away and to help anesthetize it.

Many people treat relationships the same way. They keep a relationship going not because they want to build but because they want to mask. The interesting thing here is that, this often creates the most opportunity for red pill wisdom to be accrued, because some of the greatest insight from men regarding MGTOW and the red pill is wisdom that has been accrued during these periods of willful blindness in relationships, and honestly, in life in general – in health, in habits, in patterns, in ways of living, in practices.

Jordan Peterson in a talk that I listened to back in January made the comment that eventually spurred this video, stating that if “you are willfully blind, you’re going to store up chaos.” Isn’t that what the blue pill is? The blue pill is choosing to be blind, willfulness, and while the wilfulness that you have may taste good, may temporarily satisfy like fast food, it eventually leads to a massive heart attack, a calamity that cannot be tamed and cannot be overcome.

The dichotomy at play here is that, this assumes that, even when you go MGTOW, you’re going to have to put out small fires along the way. When you are in a relationship that you shouldn’t be in and you are willfully blind, what is happening is that you are letting the fires just continue to burn. The house that you have built, this false facade of a relationship, is going to stand for a few years, a decade, maybe longer, but in your heart of hearts, you know that this house is going to burn down eventually. There is no way that it is going to be able to endure the raging flames that are coming its way.

This is a relationship that is built on willfulness of heart that is not clairvoyant, but rather, is blind. This goes for the bad diet that you have built into your daily routine in order to help you get through the stressful life that you’ve created for yourself. This goes for the smoke breaks that you are trying to drop but you rely on to get you through the doldrums of your work day, each and everyday. You don’t ever quit it or take care of the small fires along the way because you are afraid and you don’t want to rock the boat and ultimately, just get a little bit of sweat going to help put out the mini fires that are cropping up.

When we extend this metaphor to your life or to a marriage or another relationship, when you let the fire rage even longer, it goes from just taking out the front patio or the kitchen to instead ravaging the living room, the den, the dining room, the bedrooms and in the end, everything that you have of value. If you’re lucky, you will be able to survive, but anything that you could have salvaged has been completely destroyed, just because you didn’t want to get up, take care of the small fires, understand that they’ll happen, and then move on, preserving yourself and far more of what would otherwise be taken in the fires that you’ve let rage on in complete and utter destruction.

The scary element of this is, some men would still rather sit there and let the fires continue to rage and let chaos ensue and build up to a destructive level where everything is decked and destroyed as you see in the thumbnail. You will pay for this, even though you either think you’ll never see the day of destruction or because that which will bring you calamity is something that you can’t let go of and actually see as an addiction. That is very bad, that is very, very bad, and I say this because I’ve been there.

I’m thinking of two different relationships in my past and the biggest difference between one and the other was this willful blindness. I chose to ignore the impending doom of the relationship that I was in, a relationship in which I was building nothing but pouring into my fleshing and pouring out of my resources, my money, my time and my soul to help heal a wound a fill a void that I didn’t know that was there. The next relationship that I was in I was more aware and I understood the impending doom, and because I knew that the impending doom was going to come, and I didn’t just back up and ignore it, I was able to evade ultimate destruction. I was able to exit early enough so I didn’t have to burn so much water on putting out what would eventually be an untamable fire in the end.

Men that come to MGTOW, you know what I’m talking about. I speak with some of you guys, I email some of you guys and I receive emails back from you, and what I hear is that, even at the beginning of some of these marriages that lasted five, ten fifteen years, you kept going with this relationship even though you knew entropy was looming on the other side. That’s very bad because it means you are going to have to deal with absolute rubble, rubble that you can’t even see through. It’s going to be so thick, so tangled at the bottom of the floor that you’re just going to want to delete everything that you have and move on.

Many men that come to MGTOW are coming to MGTOW because they’ve created this past life of complete and utter bliss and ignorance and willful blindness that in the end turned into this massive entity of fire and gas that slowly got too big and eventually burst like a supernova, completely obliterating everything in the near area, including completely burning you.

So, what do we do about this? Well, we think about why we are being blind and letting chaos reign. For some men, it’s because they feel insecure about their own value and they need to find something to either give them false value or to distract them. For other men it’s straight up lust, and for some men it’s fear of what would happen if they said to the fires that were building that they had to leave and that they had to be doused.

I heard this one crazy YouTuber, absolutely bonkers, not a MGTOW guy just in case you were wondering, just a random video that I was watching, and he made up this word called reality confusion debt. What’s going on here according to this made up term, and I can’t get too critical here as I make ‘em up all the time, he basically says, that you can’t ignore things that don’t seem to be reality but continue to come up and present themselves in some pattern. It’s like, “what the heck just happened?” You get in this trance of confusion and you don’t heed anything that you’ve seen or witnessed, and all of a sudden you get this chaotic ending because you’ve built up this unpayable debt of failed opportunities to correct a problem that has been presenting itself clearly in a pattern.

Put yourself in the position of dealing with an ex-wiffe or a girlfriend here. How many times did you say, wow, that’s a bad sign, or wow, I have to cut this out, but you don’t. Before you know it you’re thousands of dollars in debt, you’ve got a kid that you can’t support and is going to be hers and you are now at the courthouse getting a divorce. When you are at the bar, and the first time you see this person that ends up being the person on the other side at the courthouse ten years down the road, don’t brush aside the glimpse of chaos. Glimpses of chaos are very, very bright and they make themselves known. Do not ignore them, or else you will have to ignore everything else and focus on repairing the damage done in the end.

Go MGTOW, walk away

If you’ve got something to add to my ramblings about these made up theories and words that I like to discuss, feel free to email me at sunrisehoodie@gmail.com or on Twitter @sunrisehoodie.

Hoodies up, hoodie is out.

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MGTOW – Freedom’s Problems are Small in Comparison

MGTOW men, welcome back.

I made a video the other day titled, “Traversing Freedom’s Chasm”. If you think about freedom and a life after MGTOW, that can potentially be a staggering amount of time in front of the MGTOW man. More and more men are coming to MGTOW realizations and red pill awareness earlier in their lives. As a result, what does the rest of the life that they live look like?

This can cause anxiety. Anxiety because of space and anxiety because of a paradox of choice. Many men thare coming to MGTOW may not have a career path that they are passionate about, it’s not as if they’re all small business owners and have work days that are consuming all hours of the day, every day of the week. Some men don’t really have any passion yet that will sustain them for 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 or 70 years, who knows how long. Because of this, some men are simply, lost. Some men simply have no idea where to turn and what to do.

So, they turn away from MGTOW as I said because they can’t wrap their brains around freedom. What I would say is that every man is going to deal with this question, “what now”, when he comes to MGTOW to some extent. It’s a path, like many paths, like many philosophies and religions, that removes 98 percent of options in life and gives you two percent to use. The interesting thing is, that two percent is actually like 1,000 percent, as the world opens up from your subdivision that you would have lived in during your whole life as a man raising a family behind corporate America’s dollar, and now you can live in Guam, you can live in Iceland, you can live in anytown America, you can live in almost any continent in the world – at least for a while. The world absolutely opens up and it tells you, okay, make a decision and stick to the decision, even though you could have a million other decisions to choose from along the way.

MGTOW will bring men to this crossroads in life, which fork do I take, as there are not just two or three options in the fork, there are hundreds of options in this fork. This is one of the reasons why when we look at happiness scales of residents in developed countries and compare it to what we see in developing countries, there isn’t a big difference. More options doesn’t always mean more happiness, but usually, more options means less problems, and that at the very least is the case for MGTOW.

MGTOW means more options for men in life, but it certainly, always, means less problems in life, and for that, regardless of the price of freedom, there is a justification in going MGTOW based on that factor.

While this is a similar topic to what I discussed a few days ago, I received a comment on the video that prompted me to continue and elaborate on this idea as best as possible.

He talks about having a thirst for knowledge, a thirst for doing, for designing, engineering, creating furniture, playing the guitar – basically anything that I’m not good at, haha. He mentions how there is always something to do, but he doesn’t have to do it when he’s not tired. There is always something to do, but there is nobody behind him, cracking the whip, telling him to go faster when he is tired and when is immobile and unable to go further.

That is the MGTOW difference. When you go your own way, everything that you do you get to do when you have the energy for it. You don’t have to still, labor through it despite being absolutely worn out and tired. You can operate accordingly, you can get the rest that you need and then go forward.

Your failures don’t have the same repercussions. When you have the energy, you can do it. When you don’t have the energy, you can rest. And, the best thing about it, is that there is no penalty either way.

 

The way I see it, MGTOW is like waking up at 10 a.m., 11 a.m., sleeping in, everyday, looking like you’re not working hard and not taking advantage of your time, but all the while, you are getting more done than anyone else around you, you are saving more up, you are benefiting yourself and the lives of others around you, all the while everyone is scratching their head, wondering, how?

It makes me think of the testimony that I shared recently about the guy that lost his job shortly after getting his girlfriend pregnant. He lost his job, but because of the skills that he had acquired elsewhere in previous positions, he was able to earn a decent amount through Ebay and Amazon to support himself and support them. That would have been good enough on his own, but the hypergamy vampires make you run that much faster, even when you have no Nos in the tank at all. Then, you suffer, you get picked apart and you don’t get to determine the speed limits on the roads that you are driving on.

People will shame that and have an issue with that, saying that your potential is only actualized when it is actualized out of running against time, evading the enemy. The problems of freedom are ultimately, far, far, smaller than the problems of the world, the problems of modern marriage, dating, being tied to the mortgage, the car payment.

Despite the fact that the strains of freedom may be rough, they are far more manageable. There was another good comment that was made on that video as well which said, “I don’t fear HER. I fear the chasm that you speak of. Another major and much needed revelation.”

Like I said in that video, you might need to be thinking of facing that chasm. You may need to think about that chasm for a while, ponder it, see what method that you would use to get past it before you actually venture out and try and traverse it. Maybe you’re not quite there yet and are trying to get out of a relationship with something or someone, and you’re not able to quite live out the MGTOW life that you want, you’re just on the outside looking in, think about the problems of freedom, address them, and it’ll help you never look back.

One last example to help nail down this video today is the example of money. For many people that don’t have money, they only see money as a utility to get them past the bills that hold them down. This may bring stress and this may keep them up at night, but it doesn’t mean that they won’t be happy at all and it doesn’t mean automatically that they won’t be happier than the person that has their bills paid. The issue here is that they have far more problems. For the blue pill man, he may have some happiness, but he has far more problems, and thus his peace of mind suffers.

For the person that has money, bills are not an issue, but they may still be sparring with the pursuit of fulfillment and happiness. Problems of the physical matter, bills and finances are largely gone. That is where the MGTOW man is in many senses. That is where we are, and while it may still be a process in finding that which it is that you want to do in order to find actualization, at least the problems are removed. The same problems that would be faced in the modern world of chaos are removed.

The problems of freedom of smaller than the problems of chains.

So, if you have another video idea or topic that you’d like me touch on, don’t hesitate to contact me. I can be reached at sunrisehoodie@gmail.com or on Twitter @sunrisehoodie.

Hoodies up, hoodie is out.

 

MGTOW Shaming Lines Vol. 18 – “You Want to Be Peter Pan!”

MGTOW men, welcome back.

Back with some more shaming lines, volume 19 of our shaming lines series. Why do I discuss this content? Well, I’ve always thought that if you can be made aware of the shaming lines that you are expected to get before you actually receive them, it removes the credibility that could be had associated with the shaming lines.

Most of them are fallacious in nature and rely on ad-hominems, but I think that it’s important to address some of them considering MGTOW.com has a whole archive of these shaming lines that you can check out by category of shaming line, at any point.

By the way, it’s great that MGTOW.com exists. We never know what will happen with YouTube or any other websites in regards to MGTOW, but we know that we can have an outlet on MGTOW.com, a forum, a resource for a myriad of things.

But, let’s get going with our shaming lines.

Take a chance like a real man!

The first one is a charge of cowardice. One of the many charges of cowardice, and I’m going to touch on another one that is closely related to this charge of cowardice, it’s the idea of not being willing to grow up — the Peter Pan mentality.

But, taking chances and not taking chances is implied to be what makes a man, a man. Let’s think about taking chances. It’s appropriate to take a chance if you think that taking a chance is associated with an outcome that is desirable and has a great likelihood of occurring and coming to fruition. That’s when you take a chance. You take a chance when there is often no other option, and thus, your chance is almost forced. You take a chance out of security sometimes, knowing that if I even fail, I’ll be able to bounce back and to get what I need and be able to recover.

The problem today is that within this shaming line, it’s apparent that sensibility is not an element of masculinity. It implies that masculinity and being a male implies reckless abandon. This goes back to the corporate bad boy persona that I talked about before. The ultimate, desired male of today is enveloped in a shroud of bad boyness, covered in tattoos with a serious criminal record, but at the same time is climbing exponentially through the corporate ladder, making it to the top at age 27 already. That’s the ideal male apparently.

The reason that he is viewed as a real man is because of a misunderstanding of masculinity and an insatiable need for visceral qualities in a male created in the minds of many seeking women as a result of the instability that is lingering as a pestilence throughout many corners of society. The man that takes chances but takes calculated chances is still going to be viewed as a hesitant male. Chances taken blindly are masculine today, whereas chances that are calculated, weighed and even taken with a certain amount of worry are viewed as weak and not evident of something that a real man would do. There-in lies the danger that we need to crush. Actually, forget crushing it, just leave it. If you don’t engage with those that expect you to take chances, then you can never be criticized for not taking a chance. And most of the time, these chances that are prompted by other people for you to take are chances that are criminal, that don’t really have any innate benefit other than proving false confidence.

You just can’t handle losing your male privilege! You have a weak ego!

Speaking of confidence and ego…one of the views of MGTOW is that leaving is evidence of weakness. MGTOW is viewed as running off and hiding in the weeds, hiding in the thick woods and not coming out to see the enemy, not facing the enemies of the world. MGTOW is viewed as living in ignorance. MGTOW is viewed as living in fear and having decisions dictated by fear. MGTOW is viewed as men having their backs up against the wall and refusing to fight, only choosing to dig a hole in the ground, disappearing from the world.

All of this is because the person is afraid to lose their power, their status, and they would rather just leave and maintain their reputation as the one being on the top instead of actually facing the enemy. It’s viewed as that, as if we care about our reputation and our status. In actuality, we don’t care about either of those things whatsoever. We care about our souls, we care about our fulfillment, and we care about peace. We care about accomplishing what we can according to our passions and interest, all the while doing so in the confines of what will allow us to remain protected in a world that doesn’t want us to be protected and that would rather have us be weak and exposed.

If you look at this shaming line, it’s self-defeating. Men are told not to have an ego, but when they walk away they are told that it is too weak. That in itself tells me, letting go is the best option. To be candid, to be frank, I grew up not having enough of an ego. It’s an ego that I would try and recreate every single day. The ego would come and go only according to what I had accomplished that day, and in a sense, that always kept me hungry, but it also kept me far too weak at times too, something that I needed to move past as well.

So, here I am, a 24-year old, both building his ego and burying the wrong one. Society tells us to bear the wrong type of ego.

You just want to be Peter Pan forever!

Peter Pan syndrome…this is a funny one. You just want to be Peter Pan forever! The only reason that you affiliate yourself with MGTOW is because you want to be able to get Dorito dust on all of the game controllers that you can get your hands on, you don’t want to be a functioning member of society, you don’t have the skills to be productive and to be desired, and thus you’re building this facade of passivity in MGTOW in order to justify your decision to be MGTOW!

I see right through you Peter Pan, you just want to fly off to Never Never Land! I knew it. In all honesty, a MGTOW man has no place to turn. He has no fairy land to run to, in fact, he’s running straight into the world that is opposite of Peter Pan land.

I was having this conversation the other day with a family member, and we were discussing a timeline of events in a person’s life. I was thinking about this person, their life, their early adulthood, and the thought came into my mind — there is a difference between wanting to be a child and being homesick and wanting to run from responsibilities. Or, there is a difference between wanting to be a child and not knowing how to handle responsibilities.

MGTOW is neither. MGTOW is leaving childhood and leaving a fear of responsibility and MGTOW is the act of exposing oneself, making oneself vulnerable as there is no other person accountable for failures than yourself.

The main thing that I don’t want to do is lose my soul in the act of however I choose to live. MGTOW allows me to maintain that I can pursue soul production and that the risk that I take in life falls all on my shoulder.

A MGTOW man is more exposed than any other man, yet we get shamed for not being exposed enough. Ah, the dichotomy, ah the misunderstanding, but we are not responsible to any of it.

If you have another set of shaming lines to share, hit me up at sunrisehoodie@gmail.com or on Twitter @sunrisehoodie.

Hoodies up, hoodie is out.

MGTOW – Traversing Freedom’s Chasm

MGTOW men, welcome back.

If you don’t know what to do with the time that you will have, what will you do with the time that you do have when you actually get it?

Well, you’ll probably go for the quick fix, especially if you can’t sit in relative peace and quiet and you can’t rest the restless soul of doing. So, that’s probably not always a good thing, and it very well may be a bad thing that you don’t want to venture back and do.

This is the conundrum of Brooks in “The Shawshank Redemption”. Brooks has never learned how to be free as he lived his life in the prison. While he was released from prison, he goes back to being a civilian and now he doesn’t know what to do with his time. For him, this ends up being worse than being in prison, than being in chains. So, he ends up committing suicide from what I recall of the movie. It was so unbearable to him, so confusing and so unfulfilling.

The thing about us men is that we love to do. We love to find purpose in our doings, and if we can’t find purpose in our doings, then we are either going to sit and maybe be a little bit depressed or down for a bit, or we are going to immediately hunt down the next option. This is the searching phase. The searching phase of freedom is actually more important and more difficult than the doing or being phase than of freedom.

It’s because in this you’re charting your course and you are determining the purpose that you are going to set forth for yourself. That’s scary, that’s daunting, that means that you have to be organic, that means that you might be trying something new, that means that you might be moving somewhere new, that means that you might be destroying comfort and moving on from comfort and leaving it.That means that you might be leaving acceptance, that means that you might actually be dealing with thoughts that you’ve pushed back into the back of your mind for forever.

Ignoring your thoughts with mindless movement

You simply don’t want to deal with some demons or some regrets or fears, and thus you fill your time by being a busy-body. Or, you fill your time by willingly being in chains as I’ve discussed. Some men, they prefer the chains because it gives them structure that they don’t want to create for themselves, or that they don’t know how to create for themselves.

That’s their choice, but for me, and the MGTOW man, that’s not enough. It’s insufficient.

So, what are you going to do to fill the void of freedom. Well, I think that you have to traverse the void of freedom before you even get to its precipice. Think about this, dwell upon this. I’m not offering any specific solution in this talk or any specific answer about traversing this, but what I am offering is a reminder that you should probably think about this everyday, at least a little bit. Create for yourself some reality, some dream, some perspective that you want to have for yourself, actualizing it, so that when you get to the cusp of freedom from to freedom to, you know how to traverse the void, the chasm.

I got an email regarding this, this thought about filling the void. It’s not long, I’ll just read it really quickly:

Filling that void

Hi Sunrise Hoodie —

This anonymous emailer again, and i am sending you a email regarding a thought i was thinking about a couple of days ago that is ever since i took on this philosophy  i was thinking about how society tell us to have a family get married to fill that void instead of digging deep down inside and finding ways to fill that void….without the outside external motivations like wife and kids and this lie society tell us to live by becoming that disposable male that society see a another slave to a system that do not care about us whether we live or die that rather see us living in the blue pill world as zombies… i would love to hear your thoughts on this topic on one of your videos love your channel keep up the good work hoodie hoodies up hoodies out…

So, can you handle the freedom?

Freedom is paramount in MGTOW. Men want freedom in a number of ways, but ultimately, it’s a freedom of the soul. Sure, money factors into this and who you bring into your life and keep out of your life factors into this, but the main thing that we are trying to possess is freedom of the soul. Soul freedom is dangerous to some in thought. Soul freedom comes with some price, but overall, it’s a far smaller price, because it helps counteract regret.

I’m going to speak directly at some of the men that could be listening right now that are in between the freedom from phase and are trying to enter into freedom to. And, maybe some of your that are always feeling as if you are on a teeter totter, wavering back and forth between these two things, wanting a bit of both worlds.

I’m going to speak to you with an ounce or two of caution dished to you in this serving. If you cannot handle the void of freedom, if you don’t know how to organically create what is needed to traverse the void of freedom, then you may not be ready to take the journey of going your own way. You may not be there. Because, many men falter here. This is where they slip up. The fire wells inside of them about going their own way, they are in phase gung-ho, everything that they hear from MGTOW content producers is resonating with them, it all makes sense, but they still want a piece of the pie that lingers behind and chases with its siren-like voice…the chains that lure one into the pleasantries of the blue pill world.

For some, that call is too powerful, or the taste of the red pill is too bitter. Or, the void that they think that they have to fill is too wide, too expensive, and they simply cannot fill it with something that will appear to be worthy of their time. This is a red pill in it of itself. It’s a man that wants to return to Shawshank, because the life outside of Shawshank requires too much thought.

Blue pill addiction often indicates pain

The interesting thing is that, blue pill addiction often indicates pain that people are trying to repair, and wounds that they are trying to mend. Men that are looking for love from women or looking for fulfillment from money, status, a job — they may have had a past of neglect, a past in which they never had a father figure, never had money, never had any encouragement, abuse. Anytime there is a strong addiction to something that also has very adverse side effects, there is almost always another void that is aiming to be filled.

So, I guess that you have two voids to choose from…the freedom void that requires more thought and that requires more tact and more freedom but also more opportunity, opportunity for pain, opportunity for coming up short. Or, you have the blue pill void that you live in. This offers pleasure, short term pleasure usually. It offers simplicity of mind and zombie like comatose mentalities like you said, but it offers high chance of regret, lack of fulfillment and loss of identity and soul freedom.

What void do you want to choose?

What I want to say with this, and what I want to get to is, as a MGTOW man, and for some that are just coming to the red pill, if there are any listening out there, you need to think. You need to visualize the freedom void that is front of you. I’m saying this because your days are going to be far more free. Your hours aren’t going to be spent rushing around, in rush hour traffic, doing senseless shopping, cleaning diapers, worrying about certain bills, working for them, being tired.

Your days are going to look a lot different from that, and while some of you that are MGTOW will still have days that are exceedingly full and that will never stop with the hustle and bustle, you’ll have a mind that has more mind space as well, a bi-product of mental minimalism. So, what do you fill with that. Many of you will have nothing but time, in a Styx, “Too Much Time on My Hands” predicament. So, what are you going to do with that?

Because, during times in which I’ve gotten to that point, and this may also have to do with a lack of confidence or belief in the next steps, I know that I was bit overwhelmed and sometimes, a little bit down. But, as soon as the next thing came by to utilize this void that I have in a positive manner, light shines again. This demands the value of the searching phase. The searching phase, much like searching for a job, is often more hectic than even working at the job. Take your time with this search, deliberate on it, as it’s so important and it will also keep you from wanting to switch jobs and come back to the blue pill void.

And when I say freedom void, I don’t mean emptiness. I mean opportunity. Opportunity to do and to fill. And while no activity or item can ultimately fill every void, a MGTOW man’s bottom line decision is just deciding to do with the time that he now has. Use it wisely and fully before you get to the precipice.

If you have further comments on this or would like to add another topic or testimony about how you came to MGTOW and what it means to you, feel free to email me at sunrisehoodie@gmail.com or on Twitter @sunrisehoodie.

Hoodies up, hoodie is out.

MGTOW – Enmity to the World

MGTOW men, welcome back.

Oh, hoodie, you’re getting a little friendly with the world!

Going MGTOW ensures that I don’t have to buy stock in the world. Living outside of that means that you have to become a greater stockholder in the world. I want to leave that.

I’m going my own way because I don’t want to have to buy into the world. If you want to buy into the world, you can’t go your own way because you have to surrender yourself to the security provided in the entities that are around you.

What do I mean being an enemy of the world? What do I mean being a friend to the world?

  • I didn’t want to want things too much
  • I didn’t want to have to have things
  • I didn’t want the approval of the world
  • I wanted to know that I could always give comfort away
  • I wanted to know that I could always first answer to my moral compass, not to the compass of acceptance.

It’s not violent, it’s not malicious. It doesn’t seek revenge. It doesn’t seek attention. It doesn’t seek anything. It seeks life. The world is a symbol for regret, because that means that you were not genuine. You were not yourself.

This is true because the world says that it will provide such and such and give you inspiration for such and such if you just enter into agreement with it. Just look at the criticism that is offered between the red pill community and the world that exists all around. The MGTOW man is leaving provision and he is going his own way, but he is criticized for it because he’s not entering into agreement.

Those that are enemies to the world are actually in what I believe, to be the greatest helps and the greatest allies for those that are in the world. That’s the interesting dichotomy about being an enemy of the world. I always say this about MGTOW – MGTOW men are the men that are most needed by society, yet society doesn’t want them. Society wants the man that is actually not pursuing that which will probably help society out the most in the long term.

We are unwanted. We are unwanted people, I’m not going to say group, but I realize that by me using the MGTOW tags in my videos and so forth, what I say is going to be looped into what all MGTOW men say or I’m going to be believed to operate as a community. No, we are all our separate MGTOW men, being framed as dangerous enemies to the world. Actually, give things enough time, and you’ll realize that the MGTOW is actually very much so a friend of the world, he’s just a friend that has been turned away and told that he’s not wanted in many ways — maybe not just not wanted, but not deserving.

As I always do on Sundays, I look at a passage from the Bible and I relate it to my view of MGTOW philosophy and how it has impacted my own understanding and coming to the red pill thought provided in MGTOW.

In my reading this morning, I was reading 1 John and I came across one of my favorite lines, summarizing what it means for me as both a Christian and a MGTOW.

It is 1 John 2:15-17, on loving the world and hating the world.

15Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Fatherd is not in them. 16For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.”

Love of the world is enmity to God. Regardless of what you view of the Bible, I think that we can almost all agree that within MGTOW, we are trying to remove the affection that we may have had for the world at some point. What does being of the world connote? For me, loving the world means pride. Loving the world means investment into things that don’t have value, and mostly, are there for man’s praise.

Here’s where the connection is. Love of the world means man’s praise. Man’s praise equals status and protection. Status and protection equals provision and leverage and that very much so turns into attention and value from the wider community, and here’s where hypergamy comes into play. Here’s where Briffault’s Law comes into play.

When I dated, I felt myself becoming like the world again. Interestingly enough, as I became like the world, sure, my career started to unfold and improve. I was satisfied in that, I was getting somewhere, opportunities were unfolding, other areas of my life were taking steps in the direction that I wanted, but at the same time, I was realizing that the scales were not balanced. There was too much love, and not enough dismissal. Because of that, I was creating too much security, and ironically, at the same time, becoming more insecure. As you create more security, you often become more insecure.

This is because I was creating more that I had to lose, namely status, job, position in other areas of life, accomplishments, rapport with people and my upward mobility. A lot of this was fueled at the time by dating, by the women that I was with, and I wanted to make sure that I could continue to become welcomed by the world and loved by the world as a brother, as a worthwhile man. I enjoyed the flesh of it, but I was growing more and more uncertain and fearful all at the same time. All the more paranoid, and all the more lost.

Basically, I find it very hard to be an enemy of the world outside of a MGTOW life. A MGTOW life allows me to live an unashamed life that is an enemy to the world. I’ll admit, I still want to accomplish things of the world, career wise, personal goals, respect, leverage. Sure, but it’s all for me and the expectations that I have of myself, not wanting to fall short of the minas and talents that has been entrusted to me, bottom line.

When I dated, the world crept back in. When I pursued the courting life, the world crept back in, because the act of fending off hypergamy means buying more and more into the world everyday, and that sickened my heart. My heart grew weak with that thought. My heart grew limp and it lost the vim and vigor that I had as a red pill man, even before I dated and had any experience dating.

It’s funny to reflect. While I was not making it anywhere in the “world”, I was more of an enemy in the world, but as I became more amicable with the world the further that I got along.

I know that many of you guys can probably relate at some extent to your past. I think of the single man, the single man that’s not married but is trying to play the game hard, trying to play the game hard to get his experience up so he can eventually get married and move from the nice condo in the city to the nice home in the suburbs. He has to become a friend of the world, because only a very few, very skilled, very independently wealthy men, and I’m sure that there are some of you also that are listening, that have that leverage — but he has to become a friend of the world to remain relevant on the sexual marketplace.

I don’t want to become a friend of the world to remain relevant on the sexual marketplace. I want to be passé on the sexual marketplace, but an enemy at the world at the same time. Nobody outside of MGTOW can understand this, but I truly believe that the beneficial and life giving elements of this world and in life are those that are backwards, and MGTOW is backwards to so many.

For those that get past shaming MGTOW, they then will likely see MGTOW as backwards. They will just see it as schizophrenia, as a mental illness that can’t be remedied. They will just see it as a problem of the soul that can’t be fixed, but it’s okay, this reminds me of another passage that I want to read that I came across this morning from John 10:19.

19 The Jews who heard these words were again divided. 20 Many of them said, “He is demon-possessed and raving mad. Why listen to him?”

21 But others said, “These are not the sayings of a man possessed by a demon.Can a demon open the eyes of the blind?”

Not saying MGTOW is divine, haha, but quite literally, people will say that you as a MGTOW man, how you live your life, is reflective of a demon. It’s reflective of a life in sickness. Once again, sickness to the world, is health in reality.

MGTOW men, individuals that are enemies that don’t fight. I’m living as an enemy to this world in the sense of the checklist that is required in order to be a friend, and I’m fine with that.

If you have a comment on this topic or would like to elaborate on it, hit me up at sunrisehoodie@gmail.com or on Twitter @sunrisehoodie.

Hoodies up, hoodie is out.

MGTOW – The “I’ll Power Through” Mentality of the Blue Pill

The Power Through Mentality of the Blue Pill

The blue pill requires toil. It demands work. It demands sweat.

The blue pill guy is scratching his head in sweat. The girl he is trying to keep, she can’t be bothered. It means that you probably care too much and in that is vulnerability.

I’m okay with sweat. I’m not okay with sweat in vain. Sweat in promise is sweat blissfully perspired. Sweat had in uncertainty is a pain, because there is no guarantee.

The worst case scenario, in general terms, regarding the blue pill, is taking the blue pill and realizing that you didn’t actually get any good result. You spent and didn’t get anything in return.  You sold all of your chips, couldn’t cash in on anything or earn anything in the long run.

MGTOW men, welcome back.

I’ve had a number of discussions about my past blue pill relationships with others who I’ve come in contact with via YouTube. In these days, these eras of our lives, one of the continual factors, consistent across relationships that we’ve been in, mentalities, is that effort can repair. Effort can prevent, repair and sustain a relationship. Basically, the thought is, you can out-effort, out-muscle, hypergamy.

The blue pill mentality causes you to power through. The blue pill mentality is that everything hinges on a relational formula.

A repair man will use whatever tools that he can to fix the situation, to fix whatever is broken. He will change wrench sizes, he will get new bolts and screws according to what has to be done to fix the situation. He figures, I’m the strong one here, I need to fix the issue, that’s what a man does. This is what you’ve probably done at some point.

In the “I’m responsible to just power through” mentality, you ascribe unending responsibility to being the fixer.  The blue pill mindset disregards that he is in the mud. The blue pill mindset disregards that there might be something wrong outside of himself, something wrong in the system. Instead, the blue pill mindset thinks that something didn’t work because he didn’t do something correct. Why do I discuss this, because there might be some guys that are new to MGTOW that don’t understand that in the past, failures have been as a result of something related to outside of themselves.

What are the characteristics of this guy? I am going to go into that and I’m also going to go into some of the details of what the other people, the women that some of these guys have dated have been like and acted. There are many guys that are new to MGTOW everyday, each day the number is growing, and I believe that it’s important to address this group. Some of these guys in this group are in a red pill fury, coming off of a blue pill trance, trying to recover from a past self that thought that they were doing something wrong, when in actuality, what they were doing wrong was participating in the game. it wasn’t that they were always playing the game wrong, but they were playing the game wrong because they were just playing the game.

My blue pill revving

Blue pill pursuits are often characterized by the revving of the engine, despite the fact that you are in the mud and not actually on the road. You are working so hard, and going nowhere. One of my past relationships was characterized by this idea of powering through was possible according to my strength. What are some reasons that I was possibly in belief of this, and maybe some of you’ll be able to reflect on this.

Possible scarcity mindset.

  1. The more scarce resources appear to be, the harder that you work for them. Sometimes, this work is unnecessarily difficult, hard and arduous. Or, you put too much effort into it because all of your eggs are in one basket. Sometimes, this is actually positive, as it works against a paradox of choice, but most of the time, this creates simps. A simp works and operates full-time in a scarcity mindset, a blue pill mindset that demands work. He believes that he is vulnerable. That’s not all bad, but the real bad part is that he believes that he can account for it through work, strategy or “self-improvement”.

  2. A lack of self respect or esteem
    1. A scarcity mindset has a deeper issue underneath it. That issue is the issue of lack of self worth. Many men are reaching adulthood having really low self worth because either there was absolutely no level of positive reinforcement growing up, or even worse, they were overprotected and never let go to accomplish and often, fail. A man, a boy that is not allowed to create, to fail, to produce, to work, to try and rip some jeans and scrape some knees, is going to have a non-existent self-worth because he has never created a belief in his own abilities. He doesn’t know what he can and cannot do, and if that’s the case, you are going to be motionless, paralyzed. If you’re in this state, you’re going to be shocked that any girl has interest in you and thus you’re going to latch on to a girl, a job, a place, a home — anything. This is often the first thing to address if you noticed that this applies to you and you’re living in scarcity, not abundance.
  1. You don’t even know what to do. You haven’t searched enough
    1. You go to high school, you join the football team, you play CoD every Friday, you try to get girls all week long, you go to any state school party U, get that simple corporate job, get married, get overweight, have three kids, have a swimming pool actually filled with debt and this is what you’ve done. It’s created all on the traditional path. The blue pill path says that the traditional path is the path, and thus, you do that. The red pill path is freer but initially, often more difficult, because you have to find out what it is that you’re going to do. That’s why many don’t venture out and do that, it’s because they don’t want to decide for themselves, they just want single serving meals and drinks and silverware. If you can’t figure out what it is that you want to do and are going to pursue, you’re going to pursue the blue pill and the simple sugar diet that it is.

The principle of least interest

As I’ve said, the blue pill mindset insists that hard work is sufficient. It doesn’t recognize the first rule of the world, which is that the world is not just. It doesn’t influence that and it doesn’t allow for that.

It also disregards another thing, which is the principle of least interest. The one that has the least amount of interest, investment, that’s the person that possesses the leverage.

If you want the blue pill, it probably means you haven’t learned not to care. You haven’t learned the principle of least interest. You probably think that the party that works harder and is more skilled and equipped is often the party that has the leverage. Most of the time it’s the party that doesn’t care. Ever notice that about an ex? Seem like they never cared? Whatever reason that this was the case, I don’t know. But, it completely handcuffed you. In the world of social media, this exists, and is always going to exist. Try and fight it. Bleh, I don’t care, I’ll quit the mud, the quicksand, no more spinning wheels. I’ve got four-wheel drive in my tank, the red pill Panzer.

You got another thing to add to this, another MGTOW testimony to share about how you came to MGTOW or your thoughts on MGTOW philosophy, hit me up at sunrisehoodie@gmail.com or on Twitter @sunrisehoodie.

Hoodies up, hoodie is out.

MGTOW – The Inertia of indifference

The Inertia of indifference

Like those cartoon representations of the snowball gaining speed, gaining traction, taking flight down the side of a mountain, gathering more and more snow, more rubble, more dirt, more ice until it becomes strong enough to demolish anything that stands in its way. Anything.

With each day it’s not only getting faster but it’s getting heavier, and with that combination, changing course is less and less likely to be an option. Inertia. A tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged.

I changed by not changing a thing. People change for the wrong reasons, and they want to go back to the original state, being like the MGTOW man that never changed. Like fine wine and cheese, wait MGTOW men, the unraveling power of the inertia of indifference is like that snowball racing down the mountain, taking out all that’s in its way.

But, along the nature of indifference, the snowball doesn’t care what happens as a result of the increasing indifference. It doesn’t care, doesn’t mind if it takes out the trees alongside the mountain. It doesn’t care where it ends up. It’s just going to go, and it’s going to get stronger, faster and bigger.

Indifference is arguably a MGTOW man’s greatest asset. It’s his greatest weapon because it warns him, keeps him from unnecessary scuffles, diffuses an interest in situations and ventures that are not worth his time and it keeps his sanity. Indifference is the pinnacle, arguably.

I tweeted this the other day:

“MGTOW…the inertia of indifference. It’s powerful.”

MGTOW.com replied mentioning a meme that he was going to post on “perfect indifference”.

Indifference is the word that describes a motivation for many MGTOW men, and I don’t think that it can be mentioned enough within MGTOW content. When you go your own way, you have to have an element of indifference carrying you forward. It’s essential. Because, you’re leaving all or most of the things that the world is telling you that you need to care about. If you don’t care about these things, we can’t care about you!

That’s what will be uttered in your face, screamed in your face, bullhorned in your face. But, if you don’t care, you’ve just deleted millions of enemies. Your enemy is a simple enemy, it’s contained, it’s understandable — or at least it’s consistent, it’s yourself.

If you can reach this point of indifference, you can win. Because now, you’re only competing against yourself, the only person that is worth competing against.

Janissaries

Using this as a historical reference, there was a line of warrior in the Ottoman Empire — the Janissary. The Janissary is so unique, and for those of you that are aware of the Janissary, I’m not here to liken MGTOW to service to the “sultan” as being a Janissary was. I’m not likening MGTOW to being enslaved to an entity of the world. No, I’m using the Janissary as an example for this video because the Janissary lived a life of indifference. Albeit, the Janissary’s indifference was indifference created by life circumstances, external factors, a decision made outside of the Janissary itself, the Janissary still was able to wield unbelievable power, hinging on the indifference created by their status in life.

This indifference was primarily fueled by the fact that they had nothing to lose. A person in a place of freedom is a person that is free of fear. Freedom is rooted in a release from the strain of fear. This is the case because a life in fear always has fear somewhere in the heart, it’s always knocking at the door, at least a little bit. It’s not always a, “here’s Johnny!” knocking, but sometimes just a tap.

The Janissary had literally nowhere to roam and no fear to have, because anything of value that it could have was taken away by the Ottoman Empire. Janissaries were largely young-Christian boys that members of the Ottoman Empire, officials, scouted out and took from their homes and essentially treated as paid slaves. Janissaries were taken care of financially, clothed and fed well, but they had nothing else. Many of them were orphans as well, never having any parents.

Many Janissaries didn’t know their parents, didn’t have any family and they were monitored by eunuchs 24 hours a day during their early training and they were banned from marrying. This was an element of their life of discipline. Their life consisted of training for war, and as a result, this singularly of purpose fueled them forth to being one of the most powerful forces in the Ottoman Empire. They lasted for over six centuries I believe.

I was always fascinated by this after hearing about the Janissary for the first time since about age 10. I thought at that age upon hearing them, these men are fighting without fear. They are the most threatening force on the battlefield. They are the most dangerous because they are fighting in indifference. They are indifferent about anything they can gain as they have had the opportunity for artificial gain taken away. Conversely, they likely don’t even care about the result of the Ottoman Empire and the success of the Empire in battle. The only thing that they care about is mastery, the only job that they can have and earning respect within battle. If you still value your life at this point, you as a man will pursue mastery in some element of your work. May have this been the case for all Janissaries, I don’t know, but I imagine that many of them felt as such.

A life in the military, as I’m sure that many of you listeners can corroborate on, is a life that doesn’t tailor itself towards having a family and building up physical treasures and a comfy, domestic life. This is obvious the case with Janissaries, but, I’d imagine that in many military pursuits throughout history, in tribal warring, in many armies of Europe (not so much the Mongols, Huns, other nomadic armies and the Roman Empire) had families to provide for and ultimately – a society or culture that they were fighting for. They hold an advantage on their enemies because they are fighting for mastery, not to even stay alive or for the state. They can only gain from what they are doing, and they can never lose. This duality is an indifferent duality, and it’s a freeing duality that allows you to work, to operate, to succeed, to be creative and to take massive amount of risk while deleting the amount of consequence, because consequences only exist when you have something to lose. A consequence can’t exist when there is no loss attached to it.

Fascinated with the Janissary, I looked up what made the Janissary so powerful, so unique. On the web, an individual asked, “But what the heck gave them so much power? And what on earth  made them stand out so much on the battlefield? On all pictures that I’ve ever see on Janissaries they look like any European grenadier to me.

One of the fitting responses was:

“They had nothing to lose, no family to leave behind if they died in combat. All of this made them a formidable force.”

I’d rather be a force that is free than to be flesh that can always lose, that lives in fear of that losing. I’d rather be that, more so than the other, and the ticket to that is indifference. So, sorry love, sorry romance, sorry. You can’t be involved. That’s MGTOW. MGTOW is walking away from all the things that can leave, be taken away and that you have no control over within this world. Within that are romantic relationships, and that’s why we talk about them, but once again, it’s far more than that. It transcends that, and I’m willing to stand by that.

How do you get to indifference? Isn’t that too much to give up?

Maybe you were never taught to not value. Maybe you were never taught to destroy, to delete.

Maybe the ego hasn’t been shed enough. Maybe you think you’re too permanent, I don’t know. If you think that you’re impermanent, you can give up all the things that are permanent. If you think you’re permanent you end up buying things that look like you, which is permanence, but in actuality, you’ve just added more impermanence to your permanence.

Chuck it, I don’t care. The principle of least interest. Maybe I’ll elaborate on this in the future, in the next video, in another video.

Anyway — indifference, its inertia, is powerful. Grasp on to that. Wow, that’s interesting. Grabbing on to indifference, clinging to nothing, throwing away everything.

You got another thing to add to this, another MGTOW testimony to share about how you came to MGTOW or your thoughts on MGTOW philosophy, hit me up at sunrisehoodie@gmail.com or on Twitter @sunrisehoodie.

Hoodies up, hoodie is out.

MGTOW – Deleting My Old Ego

MGTOW men, welcome back.

To complete the MGTOW journey…

What is the ultimate MGTOW journey, what does it mean to complete that journey as well? Both are good questions. Both have a million answers I feel as well. I think that each person might have a million different answers as well, for each person that is.

For me, I would say that applies.

I needed to kill a lot of things. Surprisingly, the hope in this idyllic life was never actually one of them. I never hoped in that. I never hoped in perfection, soccer practices, a huge 401K and life insurance for my two kids and my trophy wife. I never really cared about that, and my family never really cared that I pursued it either, something that I’m really grateful for. They never pressured anyone in the family to pursue that either, which is another great thing. I maybe snook by a little bit being the youngest of all the kids born in my immediate family, so at that point it didn’t matter.

So, in these ways, I wasn’t really killing a dream. I think that upon coming to the red pill, ditching some of the blue pill perspectives that I had – mainly about relationships – I was shedding the creation of the false ego about myself. Bar Bar has his website and blog appropriately titled, sheddingoftheego.com. For me, that is a very MGTOW thing. We are shedding of a fake ego, replacing the fake ego for actual substance.

One of the thing that the blue pill paradigm generates is a belief in self that is not matched with the amount of belief that you “should” have according to certain things, namely reality. That’s one of the biggest differences that I’ve noticed.

The blue pill world lives in falsehood. If you live in falsehood, you create a world that is built poorly. The foundation isn’t finely made, there are liabilities in the home, the structure that you’ve built. Basically, you built the world with cheap materials, and materials that are easily tattered by termites, by the conditions and climate around you. They destroy. They make your structure fade eventually, and then, you’re scurrying back to find the contractor that made your house, and you’re critical of the contractor. We have to get past being critical of the contractor that made our house. Basically, we needed to ask more questions and be more involved in the construction of our own home, our own life, which we weren’t. Rather, we were having our hands led towards a flashy but very fragile edifice, that looked the part of every six-bedroom million dollar home in suburban America, fit for the blue pill dream, but actually built for a massive amount of destruction.

A fragile home is usually egotistical, and that’s something that I really tried to teach myself growing up. From the example of my parents predominately, I learned, if you want something, you put your head down and you don’t tell anyone. You do it. And don’t brag unless asked about it. As a result, I almost had a negative humility at some points in my life, and my ego stemmed from humility. It’s a very weird duality, but I’m sure that some of you guys can relate. Sometimes, humility becomes arrogance. But this was something that I also had to shake upon learning of red pill thinking and then MGTOW philosophy.

Vote me off the island

Why did this happen? This is because, I think that you learn that those that beat their chest the loudest have the most to prove. The more that you feel that you have to prove, the more that indicates that you’re not secure in whatever role it is that you currently possess in society. That puts you in danger in the grand scheme of things and can threaten your position. Thus, you act out and you beat your chest and you carry a greater ego to account for the fact that you think that you’re going to get voted off the island. So, that means that you wanted to be on the island in the first place.

The joy of MGTOW is that, we didn’t want to be on the island at all in the first place. We didn’t care about that. Vote us off the island, that’s fine with me! The ego has already died, and if the ego has died, so has a place on the island that many people think is life, but it’s actually destruction and uncertainty.

Completing the journey

All of this, in my view of MGTOW, is created by the destruction of care for the unsteady but flashy foundation, and I think that a viewer summarizes this a bit and I want to touch on it. This is screenshotted from a video that came out about nine days ago, so I’m not quite sure which video it is, but it’s a good comment.

Reflecting on this, one of the misnomers about men that go their own way is that all men are men that wanted these things that I mentioned earlier. They wanted the dream, but actually, a lot of them didn’t want the dream at all, they just thought that they needed to pursue the dream to survive. Because, there is a difference. The thought is that the dream and survival are one in the same. In some sense, this is “selling out” and it does protect you on this planet. Selling out always protects the human on this planet because it is the act of purchasing worldly credit. Worldly credit is egotistical as well, and the non-MGTOW path requires some element of selling out.

Along this thought process, I guess that I’m deathly afraid of selling out. I’m both hate selling out and fear selling out. It’s not a love-hate, it’s a fear-hate. Why do I fear it, I don’t know. I think it’s not actually fear that I will sell out, it’s fear that I’m not going to be aware of when I’m selling out. Nothing frightens me more than not being aware that I’m selling out.

in a way, because of this, I run in the complete opposite direction. I don’t even expose myself to that which I could choose to sell out for. Men will sell out for all sorts of things, not just things that are physical. Things beyond money, women, cars, clothes, diamonds, property. Many men will also sell out for respect and security. I’d say for myself, that’s what I’m in the most vulnerable place. Selling out for respect, especially at 24. Everyday, everyday as a man going my own way I’m trying to put the molten hot fire on the chains of acquiring respect, because respect is often not even respect, it’s respect acquired for the sole purpose of attaining leverage in the way of assets – people and money.

And all along this path, I’m destroying my ego, replacing it with a real ego. MGTOW. MGTOW is a real ego because it’s the production of a man that is capable to do everything and to see everything that is needed from a man, despite the fact that he’s not flaunting it or just dishing it out for recognition or security. In many senses, it’s him just keeping it. Keeping his sword completely sheathed. For himself, only using it when needed. Meekness I guess it is. Not the old ego, the old ego that solely existed to pick up the girl after throwing the winning touchdown at the Friday night football game in any town U.S.A.

Men, let me know your thoughts on this topic and if this is the thought that comes to mind when you think of MGTOW, as I know that it is integral for me. Sunrisehoodie@gmail.com or @sunrisehoodie on Twitter is where I’m at.

Hoodies up, hoodie is out.

MGTOW – Losing a Child Custody Battle: What Now?

MGTOW men, what’s good, welcome back.

Don’t seek that which is seeking

Those that are seeking are the ones that you don’t want to seek. The act of really seeking for anything, not waiting and getting according to hard work that you often put in throughout areas, largely unrelated areas, are where the true equity is made and where the true progress in life is made.

I’ve always written this down, pondered it and meditated on it. Specifically to MGTOW, I’ve always said, don’t ever look for someone that is also looking. This means bars, this means dating websites. The strongest people come when they are not interested. This can also go for getting involved with people that are likely also looking and have been referred to you by another person. Not that I’m encouraging this anyway, I’ve never once went to a bar looking or had a dating account, let alone a Fakebook account, but for the sake of the story that I’m going to read today, I just wanted to preface with this.

Unplanned baby combined with the loss of a job

I live in Florida now after 7 years in Southern California, San Diego to be exact.  I took off from Florida when I was 23 to travel the country and after exploring most of the west coast. I decided to settle down and find a job in San Diego.  I ended up moving out of the RV I was travelling in for over a year with a coworker that I met at my first job.

We hit it off well and had a blast seeking women, unbeknownst to the blue pill and the almighty MGTOW philosophy.  I grew passionately lonely and resulted to POF (plenty of fish) and other dating websites. Neither panned out. I did, however, date a mother of a seven-year old briefly from POF but I ended things after a few months due to her extreme emotional swings.  

I then put out a craigslist ad for personal training which happens to be my niche and a group of 3 women found me.  I began training them 3-4 times per week and they all worked at the same company. One of them was an engineer, one was HR and the other was the receptionist.  This is a very reputable company and is internationally known. After a couple months of consistent training, they told me their shipping person was about to retire and they would love if I applied for the job.  I had nothing better to strive for at the time so I did what it took to land an interview with the would-be boss. I ended up getting the job and stayed close with the receptionist, Rachael. I continued to train Rachael and the engineer, Lisa, off and on, but Rachael and I began to train together the most.  

Rachael is about 15 years older than me and she could tell I was in need of a woman as I would repeatedly hit on her in a friendly way as she would return the light banter.  Mind you, I was completely blue-pilled, simp-mode at the time. She then proceeded to match me with her younger half sister, Michelle. She was not my type whatsoever and I clearly wasn’t hers either, so mutually, we agreed to this and she then suggested me to her ‘best friend’, Chelsea. After receiving Chelsea’s contact info, I began to converse with her, in a shy manner.  Come to find out, her and I have the same exact birthday, same year, same day and everything. She is only 4 hours older than me.

This seemed to have been the ‘igniter’ for a first date. Old fashioned me made reservations to a brewery/ restaurant and met her one late October evening.  I was absolutely enthralled with her. She dominated the evening by talking the whole time (I’m a little introverted to begin with). I was hooked. On our way home, she called me to thank me for dinner.  I was sold. We were hooked on each other. We spent every weekend together. I ended up moving in with her a couple months later. After 5 months of dating, I got her pregnant. She ran out of her usual birth control and took a different branded birth control from Michelle.  

This of course wouldn’t take effect until a week or 2 after administration and I of course continued to cum inside her like an idiot, but only after her suggesting it was okay.  A month later, we find out she’s pregnant.

A little background on Chelsea – She works for her parents at a family owned jewelry store.  Her parents are her bosses. They cut the checks. Let’s just say anything she needs will be easily obtained from her parents without question.  She also has 1 older sister and 3 younger adopted sisters, all very opinionated and close with one another.

We end up moving out of the small place she ‘owned’ and into a nice condo in the richest part of San Diego.  The baby came and we went from literally dating and getting to know each other to full-blown parents. Neither of us were ready but we weren’t about to abort the baby.  I increasingly felt trapped and it didn’t help to feel unaccepted by her uptight parents/ sisters who had hard times with outsiders anyway.

I ended up being laid off from the job I got from the women I trained which ultimately lead me to Chelsea.  I then took up selling on Ebay and Amazon, combining the knowledge gained from the 2 previous jobs I held. She of course didn’t like the fact I was working from home, even though I was able to watch our daughter throughout the day.  She would then later say that our daughter’s presence at work wasn’t a problem because her parents turned one of the rooms at the jewelry store into a daycare/ playroom.

Things began to dwindle away in our relationship.  I lost my cool one day through one of our many fights that we had (which only began after the baby was born).  I ended up regretfully physically pushing Chelsea in the hallway of the house. She freaked out and she went to her parents house and told them.  

Afterwards, I was then forced to leave.  Her parents demanded this. Chelsea went along with it.  Before I left California, I was served with child custody papers stating our daughter would of course remain with her mother.  I was devastated. I left California on Valentine’s day of 2017. Ever since, I have been struggling mentally, emotionally and of course financially.  I’ve been drinking heavily at night to escape from the fact I haven’t seen my daughter in almost 2 years. I dream about her every single night and wake up feeling lost and out of control.

I am trying to join the Navy so that I have some sort of direction.  Her mother refuses to put our daughter on the phone and claims I am a bad person.  Just wanted to send this story to you in case it inspires you for a future video. I found MGTOW 6 months ago.  Wish I found it 6 years ago.

In the age of hypergamy

In the age of hypergamy, there really is no sure death sentence to a relationship than this combination of events — a man gets her pregnant, and he loses his job. She has created the transaction that she was looking for, getting the child that she probably had interest in receiving all along, the motherly instinct and drive within her. Combine that with the fact that she probably sees you now, even more so than before, as a resource provider. I don’t know what ultimately fueled the move to the most expensive part of San Diego, but considering that San Diego is almost unlivable and won’t be a place that I’ll ever consider living because of the cost, I can’t imagine what you guys were paying on that condo.

So, you’ve added two threats to your life. There are two new threats in your life that you have always pointed at your neck each day. You’ve got to evade the threat of losing your job, losing the “confidence” that your wife had and subsequently, losing your home as well. In the age of hypergamy as I’ve labeled this, the severity of the threat is even greater. A man’s kingdom known as his family and his home life is being infiltrated and you’re dealing with Trojan Horses riddling the confines of your kingdom, the walls have been breached, and this is largely the case because of things like cost of living, social media, insecurity of life (despite the fact that she had seemingly everything catered for and provided for both by her parents and her siblings), and family court laws.

I know that you didn’t plan on having a kid, but this is an example of where hookup culture can backfire in the physical sense. Now, the freedom that he prefaced the email with, may in a sense be there physically, but money is going away and most importantly, he is living a divided life, wishing to be there as a dad and knowing that he is not able to get his full story out and garner any respect from people that he thought he had respect from.

In the age of hypergamy, signs of artificial weakness such as losing your job and working from home, despite the fact that there are practical reasons for doing so and it didn’t seem like it was impossible to get better employment or education going forward, is going to be viewed as physical weakness. It’s almost likened to not being able to work the fields, or being weak and inefficient in hunting prey out in the field. This is how it is interpreted, and working at home in the primal eyes of your wife is viewed as — this man is a poor choice, I resent him, he’s not taking risk and he’s not slaying dragons. Therefore, he won’t be able to provide for me or my dear child, thus I’m justified in leaving. Sure, it was triggered by the push in the hallway, but there was entropy already there. In any of these stories where there is that false, tipping point push, that truthfully would have likely happened down the road sometimes. It’s an indication that it would happen anyway seeing that the relationship was probably going to be on the rocks going forward.

There are one too many minefields in the field of life that the blue pill paradigm offers, and even if there are a lot of places to walk in the minefield without triggering a bomb, I don’t even care, I don’t want to bother. What is once love quickly turns to resentment in this world that exudes toxicity.

I’ve said all of this, but what can we say to our man? I don’t have experience or the emotional connection of not being able to see one’s kid. So, for all of you guys that are out there listening that can relate to this, please offer your insights in the comment section below. Also, maybe dish out some life pursuits and reorientations that you can offer to allow him to recover, some ways to occupy his mind and held handle the pain that is likely festering inside.

MGTOW right now, which is still relatively new to you, is probably going to come across as more interested and pertinent when there are similar stories to the one that you offered, or within the red pill rage angle — I’m not saying that you have rage, but during this period you are usually (I know that I was) looking for answers of the past, explaining female nature, as opposed to the interest in freedom to.

My encouragement man, is find that thing that will engulf your passions and mind. I see that you’re doing that with the Navy, but man, what are your skills, what sets you apart. What will reignite the confidence. In terms of consuming the MGTOW content, continue to consume it, but begin to put your thoughts and reflections on paper. Write, speak and articulate it, because nothing has helped me digest MGTOW and my life and shortcomings more than making content. I’m not saying that you have to make content, just reflect, listen and share.

So again men, offer your support and insight below.

Thank you my man for sharing this with me. You have more life to live than not, opportunities await. It’s a bitter freedom to, but it’s a freedom to nonetheless.

If you have another similar story to share or just another idea period, hit me up at sunrisehoodie@gmail.com or on Twitter @sunrisehoodie.

Hoodies up, hoodie is out.

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