MGTOW – Losing a Child Custody Battle: What Now?

MGTOW men, what’s good, welcome back.

Don’t seek that which is seeking

Those that are seeking are the ones that you don’t want to seek. The act of really seeking for anything, not waiting and getting according to hard work that you often put in throughout areas, largely unrelated areas, are where the true equity is made and where the true progress in life is made.

I’ve always written this down, pondered it and meditated on it. Specifically to MGTOW, I’ve always said, don’t ever look for someone that is also looking. This means bars, this means dating websites. The strongest people come when they are not interested. This can also go for getting involved with people that are likely also looking and have been referred to you by another person. Not that I’m encouraging this anyway, I’ve never once went to a bar looking or had a dating account, let alone a Fakebook account, but for the sake of the story that I’m going to read today, I just wanted to preface with this.

Unplanned baby combined with the loss of a job

I live in Florida now after 7 years in Southern California, San Diego to be exact.  I took off from Florida when I was 23 to travel the country and after exploring most of the west coast. I decided to settle down and find a job in San Diego.  I ended up moving out of the RV I was travelling in for over a year with a coworker that I met at my first job.

We hit it off well and had a blast seeking women, unbeknownst to the blue pill and the almighty MGTOW philosophy.  I grew passionately lonely and resulted to POF (plenty of fish) and other dating websites. Neither panned out. I did, however, date a mother of a seven-year old briefly from POF but I ended things after a few months due to her extreme emotional swings.  

I then put out a craigslist ad for personal training which happens to be my niche and a group of 3 women found me.  I began training them 3-4 times per week and they all worked at the same company. One of them was an engineer, one was HR and the other was the receptionist.  This is a very reputable company and is internationally known. After a couple months of consistent training, they told me their shipping person was about to retire and they would love if I applied for the job.  I had nothing better to strive for at the time so I did what it took to land an interview with the would-be boss. I ended up getting the job and stayed close with the receptionist, Rachael. I continued to train Rachael and the engineer, Lisa, off and on, but Rachael and I began to train together the most.  

Rachael is about 15 years older than me and she could tell I was in need of a woman as I would repeatedly hit on her in a friendly way as she would return the light banter.  Mind you, I was completely blue-pilled, simp-mode at the time. She then proceeded to match me with her younger half sister, Michelle. She was not my type whatsoever and I clearly wasn’t hers either, so mutually, we agreed to this and she then suggested me to her ‘best friend’, Chelsea. After receiving Chelsea’s contact info, I began to converse with her, in a shy manner.  Come to find out, her and I have the same exact birthday, same year, same day and everything. She is only 4 hours older than me.

This seemed to have been the ‘igniter’ for a first date. Old fashioned me made reservations to a brewery/ restaurant and met her one late October evening.  I was absolutely enthralled with her. She dominated the evening by talking the whole time (I’m a little introverted to begin with). I was hooked. On our way home, she called me to thank me for dinner.  I was sold. We were hooked on each other. We spent every weekend together. I ended up moving in with her a couple months later. After 5 months of dating, I got her pregnant. She ran out of her usual birth control and took a different branded birth control from Michelle.  

This of course wouldn’t take effect until a week or 2 after administration and I of course continued to cum inside her like an idiot, but only after her suggesting it was okay.  A month later, we find out she’s pregnant.

A little background on Chelsea – She works for her parents at a family owned jewelry store.  Her parents are her bosses. They cut the checks. Let’s just say anything she needs will be easily obtained from her parents without question.  She also has 1 older sister and 3 younger adopted sisters, all very opinionated and close with one another.

We end up moving out of the small place she ‘owned’ and into a nice condo in the richest part of San Diego.  The baby came and we went from literally dating and getting to know each other to full-blown parents. Neither of us were ready but we weren’t about to abort the baby.  I increasingly felt trapped and it didn’t help to feel unaccepted by her uptight parents/ sisters who had hard times with outsiders anyway.

I ended up being laid off from the job I got from the women I trained which ultimately lead me to Chelsea.  I then took up selling on Ebay and Amazon, combining the knowledge gained from the 2 previous jobs I held. She of course didn’t like the fact I was working from home, even though I was able to watch our daughter throughout the day.  She would then later say that our daughter’s presence at work wasn’t a problem because her parents turned one of the rooms at the jewelry store into a daycare/ playroom.

Things began to dwindle away in our relationship.  I lost my cool one day through one of our many fights that we had (which only began after the baby was born).  I ended up regretfully physically pushing Chelsea in the hallway of the house. She freaked out and she went to her parents house and told them.  

Afterwards, I was then forced to leave.  Her parents demanded this. Chelsea went along with it.  Before I left California, I was served with child custody papers stating our daughter would of course remain with her mother.  I was devastated. I left California on Valentine’s day of 2017. Ever since, I have been struggling mentally, emotionally and of course financially.  I’ve been drinking heavily at night to escape from the fact I haven’t seen my daughter in almost 2 years. I dream about her every single night and wake up feeling lost and out of control.

I am trying to join the Navy so that I have some sort of direction.  Her mother refuses to put our daughter on the phone and claims I am a bad person.  Just wanted to send this story to you in case it inspires you for a future video. I found MGTOW 6 months ago.  Wish I found it 6 years ago.

In the age of hypergamy

In the age of hypergamy, there really is no sure death sentence to a relationship than this combination of events — a man gets her pregnant, and he loses his job. She has created the transaction that she was looking for, getting the child that she probably had interest in receiving all along, the motherly instinct and drive within her. Combine that with the fact that she probably sees you now, even more so than before, as a resource provider. I don’t know what ultimately fueled the move to the most expensive part of San Diego, but considering that San Diego is almost unlivable and won’t be a place that I’ll ever consider living because of the cost, I can’t imagine what you guys were paying on that condo.

So, you’ve added two threats to your life. There are two new threats in your life that you have always pointed at your neck each day. You’ve got to evade the threat of losing your job, losing the “confidence” that your wife had and subsequently, losing your home as well. In the age of hypergamy as I’ve labeled this, the severity of the threat is even greater. A man’s kingdom known as his family and his home life is being infiltrated and you’re dealing with Trojan Horses riddling the confines of your kingdom, the walls have been breached, and this is largely the case because of things like cost of living, social media, insecurity of life (despite the fact that she had seemingly everything catered for and provided for both by her parents and her siblings), and family court laws.

I know that you didn’t plan on having a kid, but this is an example of where hookup culture can backfire in the physical sense. Now, the freedom that he prefaced the email with, may in a sense be there physically, but money is going away and most importantly, he is living a divided life, wishing to be there as a dad and knowing that he is not able to get his full story out and garner any respect from people that he thought he had respect from.

In the age of hypergamy, signs of artificial weakness such as losing your job and working from home, despite the fact that there are practical reasons for doing so and it didn’t seem like it was impossible to get better employment or education going forward, is going to be viewed as physical weakness. It’s almost likened to not being able to work the fields, or being weak and inefficient in hunting prey out in the field. This is how it is interpreted, and working at home in the primal eyes of your wife is viewed as — this man is a poor choice, I resent him, he’s not taking risk and he’s not slaying dragons. Therefore, he won’t be able to provide for me or my dear child, thus I’m justified in leaving. Sure, it was triggered by the push in the hallway, but there was entropy already there. In any of these stories where there is that false, tipping point push, that truthfully would have likely happened down the road sometimes. It’s an indication that it would happen anyway seeing that the relationship was probably going to be on the rocks going forward.

There are one too many minefields in the field of life that the blue pill paradigm offers, and even if there are a lot of places to walk in the minefield without triggering a bomb, I don’t even care, I don’t want to bother. What is once love quickly turns to resentment in this world that exudes toxicity.

I’ve said all of this, but what can we say to our man? I don’t have experience or the emotional connection of not being able to see one’s kid. So, for all of you guys that are out there listening that can relate to this, please offer your insights in the comment section below. Also, maybe dish out some life pursuits and reorientations that you can offer to allow him to recover, some ways to occupy his mind and held handle the pain that is likely festering inside.

MGTOW right now, which is still relatively new to you, is probably going to come across as more interested and pertinent when there are similar stories to the one that you offered, or within the red pill rage angle — I’m not saying that you have rage, but during this period you are usually (I know that I was) looking for answers of the past, explaining female nature, as opposed to the interest in freedom to.

My encouragement man, is find that thing that will engulf your passions and mind. I see that you’re doing that with the Navy, but man, what are your skills, what sets you apart. What will reignite the confidence. In terms of consuming the MGTOW content, continue to consume it, but begin to put your thoughts and reflections on paper. Write, speak and articulate it, because nothing has helped me digest MGTOW and my life and shortcomings more than making content. I’m not saying that you have to make content, just reflect, listen and share.

So again men, offer your support and insight below.

Thank you my man for sharing this with me. You have more life to live than not, opportunities await. It’s a bitter freedom to, but it’s a freedom to nonetheless.

If you have another similar story to share or just another idea period, hit me up at or on Twitter @sunrisehoodie.

Hoodies up, hoodie is out.


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