I may be going out on a limb on this one. I have a reason for selecting this topic though and seeing it as a red flag.
I had a dating relationship that lasted a few months and one of the weird things that I noticed about this girl as we continued dating was that she had no concept of what was an appropriate price for groceries.
During the few times we were together in a grocery store I had to explain to her what a reasonable price was for basic food like chicken, beef, eggs, vegetables and coffee. More and more women are unaware of what a reasonable price is for groceries as they (and males) eat out more, live at home longer and even buy food online or on a whim at fast food locations or gas stations on a day-to-day grocery bill basis.
None of these choices are long term methods to shopping nor are they economically feasible for many millennial women. Those qualities alone are enough to make being unaware of how to grocery stop a red flag – merely for economical reasons. Now I don’t suggest coupon ladies or Dollar Tree-aholics are datable alternatives, but having no experience grocery shopping raises a number of concerns in my eyes.
1) She probably doesn’t appreciate money
I think of things this way. Money only becomes money when you either have it or realize the power it has when you possess it or the power it strips you of when you don’t have it. If you’ve never been in these situations then you can’t truly appreciate money or know what the cost of something means.
One of the most basic adjustments when you have to manage your own money and be on your own is adjusting how you eat and how you shop for what you eat. If the girl you’re dating has no idea that her almond milk that you buy her is running you $3.00 more than the gallon of 2% milk that you buy for yourself then she has clearly has no concept of money or even how to take care of herself as a shopper.
2) You can’t expect her to make good choices with money
Developing a strategy for grocery shopping, whether it’s determining what food you buy for yourself, when the sales appear or what grocery store or market to frequent, takes time. It takes failed trips to the store and decisions that warrant some remorse.
Thus, she’s got a long way to go in making purchase decisions. I often see a correlation between not knowing how to grocery shop and girlfriends that expect and don’t necessarily appreciate the expensive dinners that they try to guilt and negotiate themselves into with boyfriends.
3) There’s no way she is a healthy eater
Those that eat healthy eat for themselves, are attuned to their bodies, know what their body craves, needs and how it responds to certain foods. The normal adolescent surviving off the groceries that are provided by their parents or other caretaker hasn’t reached that level of specificity with their food yet and is probably living off of the dietary habits of those people – which are often highly unhealthy.
If she doesn’t know the price of groceries then she hasn’t been shopping for herself and doesn’t want to take the initiative to eat healthy.
A big mark against a woman in my eyes is a poor diet as it indicates a whole slew of negative traits like poor energy, irritability, lack of autonomy over her health and life, an unhealthy body and an unattractive body.
Maybe the biggest concern I have about this may be that it just bothers me. There is something about a 20+ woman who doesn’t know how to shop that irks me and makes me question why she lacks this experience. Is it a household structure? Super controlling parents? Laziness? Any of these things are red flags although I just get an unsettling feeling about a girl who doesn’t know the difference in price between a Wal-Mart and your local overpriced grocer.
4) Structure and discipline may be lacking
If she has been relying on expensive dinners through work, taco tuesday, fast food or ramen – this means that she hasn’t built the discipline to find the value for shopping. I would suspect that she believes she will have to make an adjustment at some point and learn to shop, but clearly it is a priority that is on the backburner.
Structure and discipline is important in a dating and marital setting. Without it at some level, health, order, cleanliness and mental clarity will falter.